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Final Four Code of Conduct

A Spiritual Cleansing to Prepare BBN for the Badgers.

Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

If I didn't live in the Commonwealth, I'd probably think Kentucky fans are crazy. We are. Coach Cal said it, so you know it's true. Hell, it wasn't three years ago that the nation saw a UK/UofL argument between two retirees escalate into fistfight at a dialysis clinic.

With such a short time until the Cats tip-off against the Badgers for a chance to get to the National Championship game, we have more reason to be weary of red. In addition to a color ban (as is usual for us), I would like to pass along a quick guide (passed down via Company E-mail) to prepare Big Blue Nation for the game on Saturday.

Think of this as a cleansing (physically and spiritually).

I hereby direct that until midnight, April 4, 2015 the following code of conduct shall apply to all of Big Blue Nation:

  1. No dairy products shall be consumed. Until the expiration of this edict we are all lactose intolerant.

  2. Neither bratwurst nor beer shall be consumed. (This, of course, applies only to beer brewed in Milwaukee.  Drinking beer produced outside the borders of the evil empire is not only permitted but encouraged.  Think of it as our way of economically thumbing our nose at you-know-who.)

  3. The badgering of witnesses shall be forbidden. (My day job resides within the legal field. Excuse the pun.)

  4. No red clothing shall be worn unless the item also contains blue and the blue dominates the red (as it naturally should).

  5. No Lambeau leaping. (You too, Mr. Cobb).

  6. No ice fishing. (Please hold off these plans until at least April 6. I know it will be tough).

    ****Your adherence to the foregoing rules is absolutely expected. ****

    Have I missed anything?