This is sung to the tune of the traditional Irish Ballad "The Orange and the Green." Look it up on YouTube. Apologies to my future children - most likely they'll end up having to sing this.

O it is an awful mixup,
I don't know what to do
Me mother wears the orange
and me father wears the blue.

Me father is a UK grad
from Lexington was he.
Me mother born in Bearden
and proudly went to UT
They met while down in Gatlinburg
it was love at first sight.
But bring up sports and then you'll see
all they can do is fight.

O it is an awful mixup,
I don't know what to do
Me mother wears the orange
and me father wears the blue.

When I was just a wee lad
my Ma would carry me
to see the football beatings
handed out down at UT
And when winter would come around
I'd trudge right through the snow
to be with Pappa as he told
the guest team where to go.

O it is an awful mixup,
I don't know what to do
Me mother wears the orange
and me father wears the blue.

One day me Ma's relations
Came round to celebrate
Just as me father's kinfolk
where talking down the tailgate.
We tried to smooth things over
But they began to fight
And me being strictly neutral
I trashed everyone in sight.

O it is an awful mixup,
I don't know what to do
Me mother wears the orange
and me father wears the blue.

Now I'm of age and must pick
out my university
My parents have pleaded for years
but still they can't agree.
I can't bring myself to pick
Between the schools they love
And so I'll disappoint them both
and go to Florida.

O it is an awful mixup,
I don't know what to do
Me mother wears the orange
and me father wears the blue.