Two can play this little game, Pat Forde. From the latest "Forde Minutes":
A lot of the calls to Tubby went like this:
"Coach Smith? This is Orville from Monkey's Eyebrow (9)*. I just want to know what it's going to take for us to play more up-tempo, like we used to, and when you're going to put Josh Carrier in the starting lineup. He's a Kentucky boy and I think he deserves a shot."
Translation: When are you going to resign?
Translation: When are you red-neck Kentucky fans going to stop being so raaaacist?
Stick it in your ear, Forde. Your sportswriting is trash, and your dislike of all things UK is transparently obvious to the most casual observer. If you're going to to call Kentucky fans bigots, at least have the cojones to come right out and say it rather than waxing all allegorical -- even if you don't have the wit to know what that word means, or that it was what you were doing. Worse, you apparently assume Kentuckians are too stupid to figure it out.
Why don't you crawl back into your hole in Bristol and see if the combination of a Viagra tablet and a picture of Traitor Rick (I provided one for you just in case yours are no longer ... uh ... clear enough) can help you perform an anatomically improbable act of self-gratification. Better yet, write another book. Maybe that will occupy your mean little pea-brain for a while and keep you from polluting the Internet with drive-by refuse.
It's almost as if William Shakespeare had you in mind when he wrote, "Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee."
Hat tip: Anthony Wireman.