The annoying Colin Cowheard evidently decided to take a major shot at former Kentucky guard John Wall on Wednesday. It seems that Wall did a dance during his introduction by the Wizards the other day, obviously a planned affair that trades on the popularity of the "John Wall Dance" that Wall did at Midnight Madness here in Kentucky.
Cowheard reached forth into the Stygian darkness that is his brain, groped about, and brought forth this Cow-pile:
"I’m gonna call out John Wall….Before the game started, he spent 34 seconds doing the Dougie. That tells me all I need to know about J-Wow. Then he opened his mouth later and confirmed it: not a sharp guy. All about him. In that line last night, that 29-point line, when he was out of control, he had 8 turnovers. By the way, Rajon Rondo had 17 assists last night, 0 turnovers. Rajon’s got rings, Wall will never have one."
There is much more to it than that, but this bit is enough for you to get the idea.
This rant is idiotic on so many levels, it would be effortless to rip Cowheard brand new, jumbo-sized exit to his alimentary canal. But there is no need, because Sports By Brooks has done it for us, and it is an effort worthy of A Sea of Blue. Check it out.
Folks, that's what we in the blogging biz call a "Fisking," and it is truly a beauty. You absolutely, positively need to read the whole thing. It is relentlessly factual beat-down of a man who clearly thought moralizing about Wall was somehow a good idea. As Jim Carey exclaimed in The Mask to two cheating mechanics he was about to sodomize with a couple of mufflers; "Hold on to your lugnuts, it's tiiiiime for an overhaul!" For those blissfully unaware of The Mask, check this clip about 2:24 in.
My response to Cowheard is simply this: We had Wall on our team here at Kentucky for one year, and it was never about him. Wall never detracted from the team, and his personality was like a bright ray of sunshine in what had been (for the last four years, anyway) a rather dreary basketball experience. My recollection is that basketball has been a rather dreary experience for Wizards fans lately, so I'm reasonably sure they welcomed Wall's Dougie.
Just to set the record straight (and this is quoted and linked in SbB's piece above, but it bears repeating):
"It was fun, man, it reminded me of Kentucky," Wall said of his dance. "First time, we were going out and playing, having a good time. Sam [Cassell] and [Manager of Team Services Jackie Miles] told me I needed to dance to get the crowd into it, so I did it for them."
So pardon us if we join Sports by Brooks in mocking Cowheard, not just for his obviously massively uninformed rant, but also because he apparently believes "Google" is a candy bar or something, and is too lazy to find out that it might have been about someone other that Wall. A Google search would have also dispelled the idea that Wall isn't "sharp," revealing his 3.5 GPA. Still wanna compare brain-pans, Colin?
On a lighter and more positive note, how cool is it to have John Wall and Rajon Rondo in the league getting all this attention? If that doesn't make you feel good as a Kentucky fan, I suggest you move to Louisville, don the red and black, and cheer for Rick Pitino's team. He needs a little extra cheering these days.
Finally, there is this wonderful piece by fellow SBNation blogger Andrew Sharp. Here's a taste:
So if you're looking for someone to temper the expectations surrounding Wall, go somewhere else. I've been proselytizing since day one at Kentucky, and he just keeps exceeding expectations. It won't be a flawless flight to the top, because it never is, but Wall's trajectory is pretty obvious by now.
Word.