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The Top Ten reasons UK will win at least seven games in '08


I must first apologize.  Tru has been on the road, and I was unexpectedly away from my computer over the last couple of days, resulting in no new posts.  I didn't discover this fact until about 11:00 pm Sunday night.  I know many of you come to A Sea of Blue for information and entertainment, and to you I say I'm sorry.

Last year, just prior to the start of football season, I offered up my Top Ten reasons that UK would win at least seven games.  Tru was kind enough to promote my Diary post to the front page.  I'm not overly superstitious, but not wanting to leave anything to chance, I decided to once again give my irreverent views on why UK will win at least seven games.

So, keeping tongue firmly in cheek, and with apologies to David Letterman, here are my Top Ten reasons Kentucky will win at least seven games in '08:

10.  Ashley Judd will be utilized for motivational purposes by coach Brooks ( with the cooperation of Dario, of course ).

9.  Arkansas coach Bobby Petrino, fearful of experiencing his first collegiate losing season, attempts to trade starting Razorback signal-caller Casey Dick for UK freshman Randall Cobb.  He entices Rich Brooks to accept his offer by giving him a free-of-charge boating class.  Brooks is so enraged that he reports Petrino to NCAA President Myles Brand, who suspends the unscrupulous Petrino, leaving Arkansas without their head pig.

8.  After experiencing a life-like dream sequence, Dicky Lyons guarantees victory over Mississippi State ... again.  And we all know when Dicky makes a guarantee, it's golden.

7.  Louisville AD Tom Jurich, losing all confidence in head coach Steve Kragthorpe, decides to allow Rick Pitino to coach the UK game.  UL plays incredibly well until the last 2.1 seconds, when Pitino, true to form, goes to a prevent defense and doesn't pressure the passer.  Mike Hartline, having all day, hits a streaking Dicky Lyons for the game-winning score.  Sweet deja vu all over again!

6.  In Lexington for his pre-game meal, Phil Fulmer explodes like the Hindenburg after eating seven pounds of catfish at Ramsey's.

5.  Urban Meyer suddenly realizes what his parents did to him by naming him URBAN.  He flies into a rage of mammoth proportions, stumbling into a swamp near his residence, only to be devoured by a ravenous gator.

4.  Oklahoma State booster T. Boone Pickens offers Alabama coach Nick Saban 20 million dollars, a private jet, his own oil well, and one night with Salma Hayek to leave 'Bama for Stillwater, after only three games.  Saban, knowing that Auburn is going to beat the Tide for the umpteenth time in a row immediately accepts, leaving soused alums Joe Namath and Kenny Stabler in charge of Alabama's fortunes.

3.  In a fit of dementia brought on by intense arrogance, Steve Spurrier inserts himself as the starting Gamecock quarterback.

2.  Georgia head coach Mark Richt, fed up with his teams off-the-field misdeeds, hires a sports psychologist to head-shrink the 'dawgs.  The experiment backfires, causing his team to suddenly become obsessed with banjos, moonshine and Ned Beatty.

... and the #1 reason Kentucky will win at least seven games in '08 ...

Western Kentucky, Norfolk State, and Middle Tennessee.


We have a big week in front of us!  The University of E-ville is Sunday, and we'll have much more serious-minded commentary and game analysis throughout the week.

Thanks for reading, and BEAT LOUISVILLE!!