Kentucky Soccer Will DESTROY Your (Goal) Mouth

White & Blue Review

Back in the friendly confines of the still-under-construction UK Soccer Complex, the Soccer Cats took on IPFW last night in game two of their weekend stand. After being utterly confounded on Friday night by a group of East Tennessee pirates without any boats, Kentucky clearly found their footing Sunday afternoon and unleashed an unholy hell of 35 shots on the [Google seach] Mastodons, 15 of which were on goal. It's kind of amazing that only four went in, all in the second half.

By comparison, the extinct furry elephants only had three shots of any kind all night, which makes you feel even sadder for them. They already have to live in Indiana. Not only Indiana, but FORT WAYNE Indiana. Home of the Mad Ants. What is with those people. And then they field this soccer team that may have only touched the ball on the occasions that they got to kick it off after Kentucky's second half flurry of goals. Their keeper had ELEVEN SAVES. Most keepers don't save eleven balls in a month, this guy had to do it in ONE GAME. Kind of impressive, really. Those mastodon tusks really come in handy! That dude must've felt like a pinball paddle, shoving off shots every minute or so, on average.

The Cats' scoring bonanza took place in all of about twelve minutes. After a shockingly scoreless first half wherein UK "only" had fourteen shots, they boys in white with blue accents opened up the scoring in the 52nd minute.


Alex Bumpus played a ball to the near sideline to freshman Kaelon Fox inside the 18-yard box. Fox crossed a ball into the middle of the box for senior Brad Doliner, who flipped it to far side of the six-yard box for Krogstad. Krogstad connected on a diving header into the net past the keeper at the far post for his first career goal. The assists marked the first career point for Fox, making his first career start.


The Wildcats added to their lead in the 56th minute, as UK had a run that led to a pair of shots, one from Krogstad and another from sophomore Jacob Scearce, that bounced off the post. Freshman Sam Miller, a native of Nicholasville, Ky., centered the ball inside the box and found a streaking Krogstad, who beat the keeper with a right-footed smash. The assist marked Miller’s first of his career, with the product of East Jessamine also making his first career start.

In the 57th minute, just 33 seconds after the last goal, Scearce fired a hard-hit shot from the top of the 18-yard box that forced a diving save to the keeper’s right. Reymann rebounded the shot with his right foot and a defender on his left, quickly and gently sliding the ball past the keeper at the near post. The goal marked his first career tally.

Kentucky stretched its lead in the 63rd minute, as Krogstad played a ball to Miller on the far sideline, who found Matsoso. The Louisville, Ky., product fired his first career goal with a hard-hit strike at the far post to beat a hard-charging keeper.

The lesson, as always: Always trust a Norwegian, Indiana IPFW sucks at soccer, and nobody likes pirates not named Johnny Depp. Kentucky improves to 2-1-0 on the season and plays Xavier up in Cincinnati on Saturday.

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