The SEC from a Dog's view - Brulee's Bites

Hi, I'm Brulee - Hank Rippetoe

Hello everyone, my name is Brulee and as you can see from my photo I am a Border collie mix. My breed is supposed to be the most intelligent of all, but I've been dumbed down a little with some German Shepherd mixed in. I've been on TV several times here in Orlando, mostly because I am right handsome, if I do say so. I am one of the featured dogs at my country club: the Orlando Canine Country Club. You'll see me at the 50 second mark and also here. My vitals are 3ft -105lbs. I run a 3 flat 40. I've passed a car doing 20mph while pulling my human dad on his tricycle. I can catch almost anything. I can't play football because my canines always puncture the stupid ball.

I will be making predictions on the SEC games each week. I don't care about no stinkin' ACC, B1G, PAC, AAC or other conferences. There is only one football conference and the rest are wannabes in my dog's mind.

Tomorrow night is it. The beginning of the 2013 season and I hope you are as excited as I am. Let's get going! Woof!

South Carolina (#6 in the A/P rankings) opens the SEC season by hosting North Carolina tomorrow night at 6:00pm on ESPN. Steve Purrier's Spurrier's chickens shouldn't have much trouble keepin' the Tar Heels out of the hen house. UNC gets bit hard and goes back to Chapel Hill to lick their wounds. SEC 1 - ACC 0.

ESPN follows up with an SEC matchup between Ole Miss and Vanderbilt in Nashville. The Rebs are moving up the SEC ladder under Hugh Freeze and the Commies are no longer an SEC doormat due to James Franklin's efforts. While neither team is a top 25 team, this should prove to be a good game. Last year, Mississippi finished out with a 7-6 (3-5 in the SEC) record and ended the season with a 38-17 win over Pittsburgh in the BBVA Compass Bowl. That's Freeze's first season after going 2-10 under former coach Houston Nutt the previous year. Vanderbilt finished with a 9-4 (5-3 SEC) record and a 38-24 Music City Bowl victory over NC State in Franklin's second season. His first year, the Commodores went 6-7 (2-6) with a loss in the Liberty Bowl. After much thought, and considering this is a road game for Ole Miss, this dog says Ole Miss gets bit in a hard fought game. Vandy starts the SEC with a 1-0 record.


The lizards Gayters Florida Gators open with a patsy, hosting Toledo at 12:21 on the SEC Network. This one will be a laugher at the swamp as the alligators chomp and go into a death roll. Toledo goes home bloody if they make it out of the swamp alive. SEC 1 MAC 0.

The Owls of Rice take a trip to see those cheer dudes (Yell Leaders?) and the 7th ranked Texas A&M Aggies in action at 1:00pm on ESPN in another bite down for the SEC. Johnny Football runs wild and the Owls can't catch him. They be hootin' tears all the way home. SEC 1 Conference USA 0

ABC joins in the ESPN fun at 3:30 as the Mississippi State Bulldogs (ugh, I hate bulldogs) take a trip to Oklahoma to visit the #13 Cowboys of Oklahoma State. Bulldogs aren't very fast and cowboys ride horses, don't they? The Cowboys lasso Dan Mullen's dogs and the horses do the biting. SEC 0 Big XII 1.

Meanwhile, over on Fox Sports, the Ar-Kansas Arkansas warthogs Razorbacks show their tusks and gore the Ragin' Cajuns of Louisiana-Lafayette in Fayetteville. The directional school has never beaten the Hawgs and will get bit Saturday. Soooie! SEC 1 Sunbelt 0

#1 Alabama visits Virginia Tech at 5:30 on ESPN. Think Thanksgiving dinner. The Gobblers seem rather tasty to the red elephants. SEC 2 ACC 0

Do you think Tennessee fans will PPV to watch Smokie play Austin Peay at 6:00pm? Me either. While my favorite cheer has always been "Let's go Peay", Smokie will do the peaying to the tune of Rocky Top. Smokie may not have a big bite, but it's good enough to send the Division 1-AA Governors home with bite marks on their rear ends (for Louisville fans, rear ends means butts, you know...the three letter word). SEC 1 Division 1-AA 0.

At 7:00pm, there are three games and fans will have to choose which one to watch. While I don't care much for cats in general, I do find them fun to chase. That being said, this dog loves Wildcats because my owner is a big time Kentucky Wildcat fan. He makes me wear blue sunglasses. Anyhoo, you have a choice to make.

I don't think any Kentucky fan will be doing a PPV for Missouri - Murray State. I'm not even sure the fine folks in the "Show me" State will pay to view the Tigers maul the Racers. SEC 2 Division 1-AA 0.

Former Kentucky offensive coordinator and Air Raid guru Mike Leach is taking his Washington State Cougars to fight it out with Gus Malzahn's Auburn Tigers Plainsmen War Eagles (whatever). The game should provide some offensive fireworks on ESPNU. Leach has had his problems up in Washington, so expect the Cougars to leave Auburn covered with bite and eagle claw marks. SEC 1 PAC 12 0

The Kentucky Wildcats travel to Nashville to play Western Kentucky's Hilltoppers and their fuzzball mascot on ESPNews. You better have a good cable system that knows what ESPNews is and carries it. Otherwise, you can probably watch it on WKYT or one of the other local channels. I know one thing as a dog. I will be switching from the Animal Channel to watch this game. I would love to chew on that fuzzball thing.

Everyone seems to have this unreasonable fear of the WKU coach, Bobby Pitino Petrino. I just call him "Loverboy" because he has the morals of a dog. Dog behavior in dogs is acceptable while not so much in humans. He shoulda been neutered like me and he would've not been messin' around where he shouldn't have been messin' around. That, however, is in the past. Everyone know the offensive genius of Loverboy. He's had success wherever he's been, the Atlanta Falcons being the exception. The question is, does he have enough talent and depth of talent to win this game?

Yes, WKU embarrassed Kentucky last year on a trick play in overtime. They also embarrassed Kentucky the year before in a loss to the Wildcats. "They supposed to be SEC!" Remember that?

Two years of crappy coaching at Kentucky does not mean a win against the Wildcats this year. The boys in blue are in better shape than last year and they have better coaching. Randy Sanders, with his overly complicated offense, is gone and so is "Nuclear" Rick Minter with his overly complex 3-4 defense. If you doubt that Neal Brown and T.J. Eliot are better coaches than Sanders and Minter, you haven't looked at the NCAA stats for 2010, 2011 & 2012 for each coach. Look particularly close to the 2010 stats for each and you'll get an idea of what to expect on offense (Texas Tech) and (Florida State) defense. I have this sudden urge to dig under the fence in the backyard.

Meanwhile, the Kentucky staff didn't bother to even offer WKU's best player, Antonio Andrews. He was a former (2009) Mr. Kentucky football player out of Fort Campbell HS. He's rushed for over 1,500 yards for three straight seasons. You can blame the 2009 recruiting coordinator for that. Does anyone believe Stoops would've let this kid go to Western without at least making an offer? Okay, so I'm just a dog. What do I know?

I do know this. There is an overall talent gap between to the two teams and it will show up in the depth of each team in the second half. Plus, Kentucky has revenge on its mind after two years of discombobulation, lack of confidence, poor preparation and awful game management. Wring your paws hands if you wish, but the boys from Bowling Green will return home with bruises, bite marks and Cat scratches. They will know that they have played an SEC team. SEC 2 Sunbelt 0

Set your DVR to record the 8:00pm ABC game between #5 Georgia and #8 Clemson at Death Valley (South Carolina version). For anyone other than Kentucky fans, this is the game of the day because the loser can forget about playing for a national championship. Georgia won the SEC-E last year and finished off a 12-2 (7-1) season by beating Nebraska 45-31 in the Capital One Bowl in Orlando. Their two losses were at South Carolina and Alabama in the SEC Championship game. Clemson finished 11-2, losing to South Carolina and Florida State. They polished off LSU 25-24 in the Chick-Fil-A bowl in Atlanta in a come from behind manner. While the Bulldogs have the fight in them, I think the Tigers will bite the dawgs. SEC 2 ACC 1

The nightcap, (I'll be asleep by then) starts at 9:00pm on ESPN and features the #12 LSU Bengal Tigers taking a rare first game road trip to #20 Texas Christian. This could be a good game that you might want to record, but I would bet several of my favorite dog biscuits on LSU. I just like the Mad Hatter because he doesn't throw up like I do when he eats grass. SEC 1 Big XII 1.

This dog will now go out and sleep on the front porch until dinner time. I'm going to the country club tomorrow.

Brulee out.

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