Louisville Football Fans and Karma

Andy Lyons

UCF possibly ended the Venezuelan toilet paper shortage Friday night by making a house call at the Pizza Pit with the delivery of much needed medicine.

You may or may not be aware of the toilet paper shortage down in Venezuela, but only a very few people know the real reason for the shortage. I have it on good authority (well, maybe not so good) that the University of Louisville athletic department made a deal with the Venzuelan TP manufacturer to buy up all it could produce for the benefit of the Cardinal nation. That deal caused a TP shortage among the local folks.

This move was  in anticipation of the Louisville fan base's verbal delusional dysentery after the big win over Florida in the Sugar Bowl. It is clear that the author of this article is mistaken as to the cause of the shortage. We now know it was clearly the University of Louisville fans who had the greatest need in accordance with the old axiom, "from each according to their abilities to each according to their need." It is clear, to me, that the Louisville fan base had the greater need. The Venzuelan government apparently did not agree.

Citing that victory over a disheartened Florida team who failed to win the SEC, the UL fans began with talk of a national championship, a Heisman Trophy winner and the number one pick in the 2014 NFL draft. Like any good big brother would, UK fans tried to warn the UL fans that the UL schedule might prevent any of that from happening.

When the reality of their terribly weak schedule began to sink in, they offered up the excuse that everyone was afraid to play the mighty Cards. They seemed to ignore the fact that no one wanted to play the Cards under Tommy Turtleneck's terms. The major powers would not allow Jurich to dictate the terms of any agreement, so Louisville was stuck with the weak schedule they have. Louisville would have to wait until they join the ACC in 2014 before playing a major college schedule. Didn't matter: the Cardinal faithful knew they would get the AAC automatic BCS bid in their awesomeness.

Friday night, it all came crashing down with a loss to George O'Leary and his Golden Knights of the University of Central Florida (UCF). In other words, the school with a "directional" name, as the Card fans referred to them, with a coach who "padded" his resume' when he applied for the Notre Dame job, force-fed the Cardinal nation a whole bottle of Imodium and thus ended the verbal dysentery and the Venzuelan toilet paper shortage. And, it is noteworthy that UCF was kind enough to make a house call and deliver the much needed medication at the house of cards Pizza Pit. Personally, I think that was very thoughtful of the Knights.

Prior to the game, there was some talk about how UL would match up against Alabama. Let it be known far and wide that the Cards wouldn't. The weak schedule brought false hope, thanks to UCF. The amount of disrespect shown towards UCF before the game defines karma.

The sad case of UL fan delusional dysentery became so bad that Charlie Strong was so influenced that he declared the birds with teeth the best team in the nation. It was clear he had also contracted the Norovirus and the associated "watery or loose diarrhea." Oddly enough, he has yet to be cured, according to the Courier Journal.

He said he won’t have trouble keeping the team motivated now that a chance at an undefeated season is over.

"They’ve heard enough" negative talk already, Strong said. "When we were undefeated, we still heard it (because of their strength of schedule), so that’s why I keep telling them they’re the best team in college football."

Lesson learned? Do you know what "fat chance" means? Some people never learn.

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