FanPost

Alert: UK Welcomes Influx Of Superheroes- Changes To Football Outlook

Well, it seems that the joke is on the Joker. After a trouble-alert tip came in at the Hall Of Justice, several members of the JLA (Justice League Of America) secretly have enrolled at UK mistakenly thinking that the villanous "Joker" had taken over the football team. After seeing the new enrollees and the fact that they somehow all miraculously made the football team, fans seem to have changed their outlook for the Cats this season. details to follow.



Clark Kent has become one of the newest members of the UK Football squad. Seems Kent never actually played NCAA Football at Smallville U in Kansas as Smallville is an NAIA school. Kent was immediately placed at QB over Maxwell Smith who was quoted as saying, "look, if the guy can throw to himself 80 yds downfield, I don't care to sit back and watch". Kent was joined by Diana Prince, the first female player in UK history, is now the UK kicker/ and free safety. Prince has had 343 tackles accredited to her so far in practice this season and seems to favor gang tackling (she tackles the entire opposing team at once, using some kind of a rope), and it seems Prince kicked several 90 yd FG's in practice and all touchbacks on kickoffs, clearing the scoreboard at Commonwealth on several occasions. Joker was remarked as having said, "I don't care if she carries a lasso on the field or not, that girl can kick!!"

Two other additions to the team include a young man known only as "The Boy Wonder" who looks incredibly young to play college ball, but so far has yet to be tackled on any of his 75 TD catch runs, and a man who seems to be defying age as he appears to be in his early 40's if not late 30's. The name on the uniform says "Dark Knight". He and the coach got off on the wrong foot when Joker asked him if he was related to Suge Knight. No one knows for sure if that is the man's name or some sort of moniker hung on him by another person. So far he seems to be making an impression on everyone except Joker, who says that he gives him the willies. "The guy spends all his off-duty time running around in dark clothes and several of the guys in the team say they think he sneaks out of his dorm room window at night, but we can never catch him", Joker was heard saying to one of the boosters at a practice session.

Finally, the last two additions to the squad are some prep school trust fund kid with an attitude named Oliver Queen, and another guy who has joined the squad as a waterboy named Arthur Curry. Queen has been difficult to work with for the coaches because he claims he should be the QB, not Kent. He claims he never misses. Curry is a mystery, because he is always seen near water and carries some sort of a pitchfork/trident, and sits around telling fish tales. However these people came to be at UK, scouts claim they make the Cats an immediate NCAA Championship contender, and they could also be an excellent deterrent to team misbehavior, should it ever occur. One thing is certain, the NCAA has stated that they will be doing a thorough investigation into every one of UK's new team members. Mark Emmert was quoted as having said,"If even one of those new players has anything dirty in their background or recruiting process, we will find it".

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