A Sea Of Blue Parody Theatre: Dick Vitale Interviews Bobby Knight

Hello sportsfans and a big welcome to all of the members of the Big Blue Nation. Dick Vitale here with an interview that I know you are just going to love. One of the winningest Head Coaches in all of the history of college basketball, the General himself, Mr. Robert Montgomery Knight. This is going to be super scintillating and spectacularly special folks. I sat down with Bobby Knight and we discussed all things related to the college basketball scene as it exists in the world today, and specifically about his favorite subject, the University of Kentucky Wildcats and their amazing Head Coach John Calipari. So, let's get right into it.

I must tell you that this is a candid and unedited look into the man that is Robert Montgomery Knight, so there is some language that might be considered questionable for our younger viewers.

Dick Vitale: Bobby, let's do away with some controversy right now. What is all this nonsense about you not being willing to say the word "Kentucky"?

RMK: Dick, I don't know what you're talking about. Who says I can't say that word?

Vitale: Well, you have avoided saying "Kentucky" now for a few weeks every time the subject comes up.

RMK: Says Who?

Vitale: Well, you were contacted by a writer from a Kentucky sports blog and you refused to say...

RMK: Are you the one who gave that snot nosed jerk my cell phone number?

vitale No, Bobby, I would never...

RMK:Let me tell you something, I have never told anyone that I would not say that word. That is a fallacy, and you should be ashamed that you are promoting it.

Vitale: Promoting what Bobby? Hey we're all friends here, you, me, the dipsy doo dunkeroo...

RMK: You got somebody back there taping this or something Vitale? If you do I'm gonna...(grabs a chair)

Vitale: Wait!! No Bob!! There's nothing going on here...

RMK: There damn well better not be!!

Vitale: Just relax there Bob and let's get back to the subject at hand.

RMK: Well OK

Vitale: So why are you refusing to say "Kentucky"?

RMK: Who told you that? What as@#@!$ said that? I never said I wouldn't say that word! What kind of a bush league reporter are you Vitale? You know, I knew your Dad, and he was a helluva lot better at this than you are. Maybe you need to work a little harder at what you do and be more professional.

Vitale: C'mon now Bob. You and I have known each other for a long time. I love what you do. But you are letting this thing bring down your rep...

RMK: You listen to me you bald headed sonofa....

Vitale: Bob, BOB!! We are live on the air, here. C'mon, you don't want to do or say anything that would hurt how the fans see you, would you? And besides, my dad was never a reporter.

RMK: How would you know Dick? You sure as hell don't know anything about your job, how could you know about mine?

Vitale: Look, Bobby, all I am trying to do here is find out why you won't say that word.

RMK: What word?

Vitale: You know, that word. Oh man, now you have me doing it. The word is "Kentucky"

RMK: Again, I am saying that I have never stated that I would not say that word.

Vitale: What word?

RMK: Are you trying to trick me Vitale? Just what the hell is your problem?

Vitale: I don't have a problem Bobby, but you obviously have some issues with...ulp!..( Knight begins choking Vitale) Brent Musberger: Folks, I am sorry, that's all the time we have for today, tune in next week for our in-depth interview with a New York street mime. So for Bobby Knight, Dick Vitale, and the entire ESP......( Knight begins choking Musberger, screaming, "I thought you said this guy was only going to ask one question, Musberger, you no good lying sack of $%^! fades to black)

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