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The SEC's a Hard Road to Travel

This is a song set to the same tune as the classic Civil War song "Richmond is a Hard Road To Travel." Before the admission of Missouri we were the only Union member of the SEC, so its fitting.

Would you like to hear my song?
I'm afraid its rather long...
Of the SEC football double trouble
Of the sixty some odd years and the endless stream of tears
And the very latest bursting of the bubble.
'Tis pretty hard to sing and like a round, round ring
'Tis a dreadful knotty puzzle to unravel;
Though all the bloggers swore, for we even tried to score
That the SEC's a hard road to travel.

So boys, suit up your football pads and then lace up both your cleats
The SEC's a hard road to travel.
The conference gives us fits and cause for us to grieve
The SEC's a hard road to travel I believe.

We'll start with the halcyon days
Now just legend most folks say
When Bear Bryant was the leader of the program.
For the man knew how to fight
And to get the game played right
And the foes we played went trembling before him.
There was no need then to boast
For teams we played where toast
Quite a few did not realize what had hit them.
But with jealously inspired
And the Bear was all but fired
And he left for schools where football play was wanted...

So boys, suit up your football pads and then lace up both your cleats
The SEC's a hard road to travel.
Rupp got the Cadillac, the Bear got a Zippo
The SEC's a hard road to travel don't you know?

Blanton Collier was the next
To step up to the test
And he too managed to post a winning record.
But back then bowl games where few
And he couldn't reach the cue,
And the quality of play began a slipping
Though he trashed the Volunteers
With passing of the years
The win column was a slowly dimming.
So we drummed him out of town
And to Cleveland he was bound,
Meanwhile in stepped in an assistant of Bryant

So boys, suit up your football pads and then lace up both your cleats
The SEC's a hard road to travel.
Our fortunes going down and the coach went to the Browns
The SEC's a hard road to travel I have found.

Charlie Bradshaw was a man
Who put force a mighty plan
To go about weeding out all the weaklings
He started with eighty eight
But his plan did not seem great
When he finished a thin thirty were remaining.
And John Ray was next in line
But he didn't do that fine
and his coaching style was awful underwhelming
Four years were given him
as the football stars grew dim
For two or three wins a year was all that he could manage.

So boys, suit up your football pads and then lace up both your cleats
The SEC's a hard road to travel.
Thirty is far too few to ever hold the line.
The SEC's a hard road to travel if you mind.

Now Fran Curci arrived
And after three years of trials
It started to look like the team found their rhythm.
For one year we even left
Hell for heaven and we ran
The table against the blasted conference.
But after that came ills
And a return to the chills
Of the disasters that continually dogged us.
So Curci was let go
So the next could step and show
Murphy's Law was certainly not finished with us.

So boys, suit up your football pads and then lace up both your cleats
The SEC's a hard road to travel.
Ten and one was fun but is now just a dream
The SEC's a hard road to travel so it seems.

Desperate to break the curse
To Maryland again we turned
Hoping someone there could finally deliver

So it was Claiborne was found
But instead of breaking ground
We had nine seasons of five-hundred performance
So next to Alabam
To steal Curry was the plan
Surely someone there could manage to win football
But the best Curry could do
Was six and six and so he was
Shown the door like so many before him.

And boys, suit up your football pads and then lace up both your cleats
The SEC's a hard road to travel.
Established coaches come here and quickly do they fail
The SEC's a hard to travel goes the tale.

So we fired up our jets
To try football like the nets
And Hal Mumme brought the famous Air Raid offense
Quite effective it was found
But the meanwhile on the ground
Forty points or more was gave up by the defense
While the games where fun to watch
The outcome was not in doubt
Whenever the major powers came a playing.
And it all stopped on a beat,
Turns out Mumme was a cheat
And the team was landed into a probation

So boys, suit up your football pads and then lace up both your cleats
The SEC's a hard road to travel.
Mumme cheats to win only two games in a year.
The SEC's a hard road to travel I do fear.

Guy Morriss' stay was brief
After two he packed to leave
And Rich Brooks came in to try to bring some order
For a while he found the ground
And a forward move was found
But old age finally took him out of the picture.
So Joker took the reins
And once again the train
Found a way to wreck much to our consternation
Though he broke the dark Vol streak
And finally made Spurrier meek
After Vandy nothing's left out for reclaiming

So boys, suit up your football pads and then lace up both your cleats
The SEC's a hard road to travel.
Joker tried his best he wound up like the rest
The SEC's a hard road to travel I would guess.

We are very much perplexed
To see who will be the next
To lead the famous Big Blue expedition
That the Commonwealth would blaze
To think that one of these days
We might once more be at the top of the order.
Now the Cubbies have the goat
And the Red Sox Babe Ruth's Curse
Maybe we should find Rupp's Cadillac and smash it.
Cause there's not much left to try
To see if before we die
That our football team can finally end our suffering

So boys, suit up your football pads and then lace up both your cleats
The SEC's a hard road to travel.
The conference gives us fits and cause for us to grieve
The SEC's a hard road to travel I believe.

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