Hey Mikey! I Got An Idea!

Call it ubernonsensical foolishness, but watching Randall Cobb do his first Lambeau Leap (of what I think will be many) gave me a burst of creativity, so I am going to make a suggestion to you about all of this conference expansion business. Let's drop the hammer! Let's get it all done at once so we can get on with the business of winning NC's in both Football and Basketball and force the downfall of civilization as we know it. Forget just waiting on Texas A&M. Let's go to 18 teams right now and get it over with. 

Yeah , I know, it will just send the media reeling, get all of the conference commissioners all hot and bothered, and essentially change college sports forever. But it is no different than doing it one piece at a time in your lunchbox over 20 years. All you get then is a funky looking Caddy with one tail fin. So let's just do this now, and here is how we do it.

We don't like litigation and neither does anyone else, so we put out "feelers" or send "runners" as they are to the following schools:

1) TAMU- This one is half done so, just tell them to send a few good old boys down to Baylor with attitudes and 10 Gallon hats to discuss Mr. Starr's options with him.

2) North Carolina- Don't send anyone to Roy Williams office, because unless you are kissing his backside he will have you thrown out of the arena. Just a note saying, "you want to play with the big boys so bad, here is your chance". They can schedule Duke in Bball for old times sake if they like.

3) Florida State- Yeah Florida is going to kick up a little dust, but don't worry. They like being in the SEC a lot more than they let on, so they are not going anywhere. Besides, it's about time someone put something under their saddle to irritate them.

4) Oklahoma- Adding another mid-west program stretches the mileage limits of course, but asst. coaches are not getting enough frequent flyer miles since the airlines changed their limits. Besides, adding Oklahoma means the rest of the collegiate world may never get another NC.

5) Louisville- You have to give us this one at Kentucky because getting to whip them twice a year is just too good to pass up. And we don't ask for much, nor do we whine about Florida and Tennessee beating the crap out of us every year in football. Besides, Adding them to the football schedule means if Joker keeps his act together we might pick up another conference win. (To offset the losses to FSU and Oklahoma)

6) You pick 'em- West Virginia or Virginia Tech. I'll let you decide if you want a basketball school or a football school here. Even though WVU occasionally foots the bill on both sides, VTech brings some nice things to the table also.

Your changes to the season are as follows: 9 conference games a year. 3 OOC games. We will have enough Football patsies inside the league to avoid playing the no names any more than three times a year. And 9 games means ties become less probable. And we add a conference tourney to football. top two teams from each division play for a shot at the SEC Championship. Use the standard tiebreakers for qualifiers.

Round Robin format for reg season divisional games, and we rotate the divisional champ games and the conf championship game through all schools.

Oh, and all that yelling and screaming you will be hearing in the background, on your phones and in the media? Pay no attention to that, they're just jealous.......

So you will have thus:

SEC East- Florida, SCarolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, NCarolina, FSU, Louisville, VTECH-WVU,Georgia

SEC West- Bama, LSU, Miss, Miss St, Oklahoma,  TAMU, Arkansas, Auburn, Vanderbilt

That leaves  Florida and FSU, UK and UL, Bama and Auburn, MISS and Miss St, Tennessee-Florida, TAMU and Oklahoma rivalries all intact. And creates some new ones. UK and UNC becomes an instant classic just to name one.

You will have the biggest, baddest, and meanest football and basketball conference in the country.......period. The FTC might even try to get involved claiming we were a monopoly.

Look at the legacy you will leave behind, not to mention all those new places the Big Blue Nation will invade.....lol