What if all reporters wrote like Thamel? A satirical article demonstrating just that...

Sources reveal Syracuse University allowed journalism students to opt out of their ethics courses.

I’ve contacted Department/University Reps and Pete Thamel but they declined to comment on the matter.

However, my disdain for their "Coach of the Year" Mr. Boeheim, coupled with an on the record interview with one of Thamel’s former Assistant Professors (currently teaching in China) assures me I’m well within reason to give this manifesto a national headline.

"He fell asleep once or twice during lectures on ethics in print journalism," the Assistant Professor stated.

"It was probably because he thought he was just too big time for my lectures after he got a spot at The Daily Orange," he added.

Thamel’s former Assistant Professor even said he has video of Thamel sleeping during lectures on ethics.

Despite the money the Assistant Professor could earn from the sale of the video or from granting interviews about the video he swears he has of The New York Times’ Sports Reporter, his intentions are honest and pure.

"Although I harbor quite a bit of unresolved anger that a former student has found such success at The New York Times and I couldn’t even get tenure, I am very sorry for revealing this about Pete," the Assistant Professor said. "But when a reporter seeks me out and asks me leading questions, I have to tell the truth."

An intern in New Jersey I’ll throw under the bus for any holes in my story (should it turn out my source provided inaccurate information and these were nothing more than slanderous, unfounded accusations) contributed research from his house.

*Legal Disclaimer: I made all of this up.