The Man Who Stares At Recruits
by wilson452 on May 21, 2010 5:11 PM EDT
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PrintDateline: May 31, 2015
Lexington, Ky – In the third signing period since the NCAA outlawed all player-coach contact under the LowCal Diet initiative, designed to limit John Calipari's power over basketball, UK is at it again. The watchdog group National ESP Recruiting Dangers has leveled charges against the University of Kentucky and men’s basketball coach John Calipari for what N.E.R.D. describes as the “Willful use of witchcraft, mind control, alchemy or any other supernatural resource to coerce, cajole, conjure or otherwise gain commitments from all free labor athletic workers.”
With a seventh straight No. 1 commitment class and the third without ever speaking to the long list of players who have selected UK, Calipari has drawn the attention of the Pentagon and General K. R Ahzee, head of the Wicked Cool Mind Stuff unit: “We would like to talk with him to gain a better understanding of his black magic and how long his contract with Satan will remain in effect.” Not wanting to allow valuable time to pass by without proper use of Calipari’s mastery of secret societies and ancient potions, the General is enlisting Calipari’s help: “We are interested in UK recruiting Bin Laden. Cal’s obvious magical powers, we believe, will pull him out of hiding and into a live press conference to announce his school of choice. As soon as he puts on the blue cap ... POW, we will be there.”
Calipari had no comment. As he shouldn’t.
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Calipari: Recruitwhisperer
"There are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." --James Madison
I see Cal....
….as Alan Garner on the Caesar Casino rooftop.
'..when they bring a knife, you bring a gun...that's the Chicago way..'
by HozeKing on May 22, 2010 5:18 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
So...
are you saying he is slipping us all roofies, cutting his hand to form a blood union with a group who really doesn’t like him much (yet), making a hilarious speach or sporting some killer sandals and singing who let the dogs out?
In this vein, I would have to say he would be closer to Less Grossman but substituting his lust for diet coke with top recruiting classes.
I could even go for Kirk Lazarus – I don’t read the script. The script reads me (I don’t call recruits after they commit. Recruits call me.)
Reese Bobby – Oh hell, Son, I was high that day. That doesn’t make any sense at all, you can be second, third, fourth… hell you can even be fifth. (we aren’t 10 and 0 more like 6 and 4)
Changing how you think will change what you think.
I was thinking more about the man-purse.
'..when they bring a knife, you bring a gun...that's the Chicago way..'
ITS A SATCHEL!
Thanks Hoze, now I know what I am watching tonight.
Zach has a stand up dvd that is not worth it but Alan is great work.
Changing how you think will change what you think.
by wilson452 on May 22, 2010 6:51 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Cool.
I’m thinking about taking up bartending.
'..when they bring a knife, you bring a gun...that's the Chicago way..'
I mean did Caesar really stay here? I didn't think so.
'..when they bring a knife, you bring a gun...that's the Chicago way..'
ABC
Is this you writing under a “pen name”?
Happy Days are here again The sky is all ways BLUE again Happy days are here again !
not me bub......but it is a nice piece of penmanship!!!.....
I AM THE CAT......The Cat In The Hat!!!
I agree
Good job!
Happy Days are here again The sky is all ways BLUE again Happy days are here again !
Thanks
All getting just a little nuts.
Simply put, there are guys who are great salesmen and not all of them have great products to sell. Some are great coaches but fall a little short on the sales and product department. Cal/UK just happens to be in the top 5-10 on every side.
Everyone knew it would be crazy if he was able to fire the UK resources like a giant gun aimed at the basketball world and we are only seeing it flesh out infront of our eyes. We are also seeing the unlikely combination of all of the points above WITH a program in the line of Duke and the Yankees where millions love to hate them for being too good too often and we are coached by a guy that is loathed for any number of reasons real or not.
All I can really say is…I LOVE IT ALL!
Let us all have fun with it. Americans are fast becoming a group focused on the fret and worry of unforseen future darkness and missing the warm glow of the moment. Right now Cal is our coach and we have a second top class and looks like a third next May.
Right now ROCKS!
Changing how you think will change what you think.
this...
Americans are fast becoming a group focused on the fret and worry of unforeseen future darkness and missing the warm glow of the moment.
Love that, and I couldn’t agree more, wilson.
Miss you and your sometimes corny-but-so-freakin’-awesome phrases and insights around here, btw. Hang around and participate a little more, will ya? ; )
corny-but-so-freakin'-awesome
Just updated the bio line of my resume to that ;-)
Might get a shirt made too.
Changing how you think will change what you think.
by wilson452 on May 21, 2010 10:14 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
wilson452 is a longtime ASoB member
He doesn’t post nearly as often as I would like, but when he does, it’s always quality.
Thanks Ken
I have been here since the BogansHeros days.I remember watching your first posts and Tru’s and so many others. It has been a point of pride to watch “the board I go to” grow into the best by far.
Many factors may just give the time do more then voyer the joint now. At least for a while.
Go cats!
Changing how you think will change what you think.
by wilson452 on May 22, 2010 8:47 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I thought you were around in the early, early, days
And I believe you are friends with Mr. Weil, aren’t you?
Once again, great job.
That would be so
JW and I spent a good deal of time making music together and flirting with gals back in the 90’s.
Changing how you think will change what you think.
by wilson452 on May 22, 2010 4:14 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
ha ha ha ha haha!!!
funny stuff sir! if Cal gets seven number one classes in a row there WILL BE investigations of the highest order conducted.
I 2nd BSC’s suggestion of more participation.
I have kleptomania,
but when it gets bad,
I take something for it.
Always here
The sea has grown so much that every time I have input someone posts it. It saves my thumbs as I am nearly 90% mobile these days. I’ll chime in when needed.
Changing how you think will change what you think.
by wilson452 on May 22, 2010 12:53 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
great job, Wilson!!!
now to add more to the storyline…7?…7 Sons?…7th of 7th sons???…keep ‘em coming…and BTW…if Cal needs any help in the future…i happen to have in my resume, “being born with the veil!!!”…only an offer…he’s doing pretty darned good on his own!!!
"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as much as you please."...Mark Twain.
Rumor mill that...
Cal has a birth mark on his neck that looks strangely like 666. Who knew? Footnote: Don’t take this seriously!
teehee
You all are crazy! Thanks for the fun! :) I’m sticking with Tru’s idea of “Embrace the Hate”! :)
UK to play in Portland?
If UK books a game next fall on the way to Maui, do you think that"s a prime time show for 2011 recruits, Tony Wroten, Kyle Wiltjer, and Josiah Turner? West coast recruiting is heating up again. Go Cal!
Oh, yeah.
Gotta rec that. Nicely played. :-)
A Sea of Blue -- Kentucky Sports for the Discerning Fan
Some Great Draft Combine Commentary
"There are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." --James Madison
I watched a couple of hours-
Of the draft combine yesterday. Of course, John Wall was spectacular. He ran throught several drills along side E. Turner, and they both were impressive. Turner did a little better in the standing verticle jump, but J. Wall was faster in the other drills. J. Wall is competative in every thing he does. Flip Saunders, the Wizzards coach all but said John Wall is the #1 pick. I saw a little of P. Patterson, but did not get to see Big Cuz. It was interesting though…
"You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't"
Flip Saunders...
…is downright giddy with John Wall. I have been perusing the Wizards blog a bit, and congratulated them on getting the number one pick, and by all accounts their fanbase is just the same, downright giddy about John Wall.
It’s kind of exciting to see another fanbase as excited about the prospect of getting Wall just like we were, and if he can do for them what he did for our fanbase and our program, well, they are very lucky indeed.
LOL
now that’s good stuff.
Surely you jest when it comes to seven number one recruiting classes. Hell, Elmer Fudd would have won at less three national championships with that talent!
Good stuff.
I have be correctly accused of having a 'football fetish'. You know, someone who doesn't think football is the warm up sport to basketball season.
2009 Better Than 2010
So says Rivals’ Jerry Meyer, plus Cory Joseph is 2010 nearest to Rondo-type talent.
"There are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations." --James Madison
Cal is a great recruiter
But all this adoration will seem silly if our detractors are right. I seem to remember this same kind of euphoria for Eddie Sutton…
"all the way"
Debbie Downer has arrived
haha… but I do understand the sentiment. I’m VERY happy with where UK currently stands, and at the same time I’m praying that everything is on the up and up. I stand by the NCAA’s examination and declaration that Cal is clean, and I know the haters are going to hate.
But yeah, if down the road something shady comes up, it will be devastating.
by wildcatfaninexile on May 26, 2010 12:17 PM EDT reply actions
Hate not being able to delete
This was meant as a reply to Ro’s comment.
by wildcatfaninexile on May 26, 2010 12:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Hilarious!
I never knew what N.E.R.D. really stood for. Now I know.
by craftyno1catfan on Jun 2, 2010 12:05 AM EDT reply actions
Calipari to Hogwasts!
This just in. John Calipari has just been hired as headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Noted in the announcement was the muggle group N.E.R.D. had outed Calipari as a Wizard of unusual powers.
by craftyno1catfan on Jun 2, 2010 12:10 AM EDT reply actions
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