John Calipari: Burnin' Down the Bird House

"He must be butter, 'cause he's on a roll!"

Recycled by Ken Howlett, circa 2010

En fuego ... about that there is no doubt.  Our man, John "Reel 'em In" Calipari, is on a path untraveled by most mortals, until now.

With the larcenous procurement of 2011 No. 2 ranked recruit Marquis Teague (6-2, 170 lb guard), out of Pike High School in Indianapolis, Calipari has now gained either a signed LOI, grant-in aid papers, or verbal commitments from five of the top rated prospects in the country ... over the last nine days!  But, it's today's Teague commitment that should bring the broadest smile to the faces of Calipari and all those considered Big Blue fanatics.  Not necessarily because of the considerable talents Teague brings to the court, but rather, because Teague had been the apple of Louisville coach Rick Pitino's eye for at least two years.  In poker parlance, Pitino went "all-in" on Teague a while ago.  But like Chris Moneymaker, from out of the BLUE came Calipari, sending Pitino home broke, and searching for an alibi.

To illustrate how entrenched Pitino's position was, here is a transcription of an audio tape made as Teague announced for UK.  The conversation, between Pitino and ex-'Cat/current U of L assistant Walter McCarty, took place somewhere deep in the bowels of Card headquarters:

RP: Did Marquis just put on a *&^$# Kentucky hat?

WM: Uh ...

RP: He did, he just put on a *&^$# Kentucky hat!  What the @$&*! is he doing?  WALTER!, what the &%#!& did you say to him last night? 

WM: Uh ...

RP: I've been recruiting that kid for two $#@&& years, and John "*&^%!@" Calipari comes along and steals him!  WALTER!  Are you working for me or that snake Calipari?  This can't be my %$#*& fault!!

WM: Uh ...

RP: I swear, I should have taken the &^%$ Arizona job ... how can we compete with UK and that #%$*% Calipari?  We'll be in a new arena soon, and we still can't beat those &^%$ head to head for a guy.  WALTER!!  What can we do to spin this?

WM: Uh ...

RP: I know, I know, I'll say that with Elisha Justice coming in, we don't need no Marquis Teague.  WALTER!!  Think  that'll work?  Yeah, surely those hayseeds down at the Courier will buy that. 

WM: Uh ...

RP: Holy %$#&, that won't work.  Who am I ^&%$# kidding!!

WM: Uh ...

RP: *&^%%!,  this makes the (Rajon) Rondo loss look like losing a second team all-state player.  &^^%%$#!  Walter!  Is the &^%$*# Oregon job still open?  My gawd, why did I ever *&%$^ leave ...

WM: Uh ...

The rest of the tape is inaudible, but there was a lot of screaming, and teeth gnashing, etc, etc.

Today is a good day 'Cat fans ... enjoy the bon fire!

Thanks for reading, and Go 'Cats!

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