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The Ultimate In What-Ifs: Where Would We Be Without Cal?

OK, everyone has taken their pot-shots at UK for everything from circumventing the natural order of the NCAA to the beginning of the downfall of American civilization. So, let's just send the man packing. Get rid of him while we can. Or better yet, let's just turn back the clock and never hire him. Where would that get us? Well, sports-fans, let's just see.

Mtich Barnhart and Lee Todd decide shortly after the UK loss to Notre Dame in last year's NIT that something must be done. Gillispie is not getting the job done, because he has so much turmoil surrounding himself that he cannot handle this pressure cooker. The next day, after meeting with BCG Todd and Barnhart announce that he has been terminated and a search committee has been formed to replace him, and that they expect to make an announcement within 3 weeks.

The original set of interviewees are as follows, Calipari, Dixon, Wright, Few, Alford, Pelphrey, Ford,Williams,Self, O'Brien, Gregory, Gottfried,Krzyzewski, Donovan, Matta, Boeheim, Izzo, and Martin.

After listening to all of the criticisms of each candidate from the internet, popularity polls and media pundits, the search committee rules out each of the following:

Calipari- Too hot.....might bring unnecessary attention to the school, and uses too many players that might not be within guidelines, we dont need the kind of scrutiny he brings to the table

Dixon- Problematic, does not have a lot of experience, and doesnt even know who Adolph Rupp is.

Wright- Again, not enough experience, has not won enough to know what its like

Few- Wants to play California ball...not sure what to do after the elite 8 in the tournament

Alford-  Too caustic......attention hog....control freak......could not keep him in line

Pelphrey-Would love to hire him, as soon as he proves he can win

Ford- See above

Williams- Will only come to Kentucky if he gets complete control over who comes to the games and sits where.....alumni assoc says noooo......

Self- Wants the job, agrees to terms, but is too much like Calipari.....recruits these "one and done" types, wants to win so badly he will bring anything he can use to the table.....just too iffy.

O'Brien- Just not Kentucky Material

Gregory- Too Green

Donovan- Wife says no.....and no....and no.....

Matta- In final group of 3 to hire

Gottfried- Also in final group of three

Boeheim- Too Old.....only wants 2 yr contract with 2 yr option

Izzo- Final 3

Krzyzewski- Committee cannot bring themselves to hire him......and he wants 10M annually to leave Duke

Martin-Actually scares the committee into not hiring him in the interview.

 

So, we have a group of 3 who present no dangers of causing any trouble, no reasons for anyone to hate them or us, and no one who presents a threat to the establishment of the NCAA.

 

Tom Izzo, Thad Matta, and Mark Gottfried,  all capable candidates all controversy free.

Izzo has a change of heart at the last minute and decides to stay at MSU. Matta and Gottfried are head to head until someone on the search committee finds out that Matta wants to bring all of his staff with him, and one of the members of his staff had an NCAA violation in 1988 for giving a meal to a recruit that was not reported.

So, we hire Mark Gottfried.

Upon hearing this, 6 UK players transfer to other schools. Patrick Patterson goes pro, and Gottfried goes recruiting. He lands 3 top 100 recruits, 2 juco transfers, and 2 walkons. UK has a less than stellar year, but is competitive. They lose 7 SEC games, and end up in 4th place in the SEC East, and get to the semi-finals of the SEC Tourney. They are then selected for the NIT for a 2nd straight year where they defeat NC for the NIT championship and Mark Gottfried gets his first banner for UK.

We have zero controversies all year long, UK spends another year of mediocrity and no one is offended by anything we do. Critics state that UK's reign in the SEC is finally over for good and everyone, except for the millions of those in the BBN is tickled pink.

By the way, Memphis wins the NCAA Tourney, and is awarded the Trophy 2 weeks after their wins for last year are vacated by the NCAA.......but no one seems to be able to remember why that happened............

So folks, I put it to you. Which way do you REALLY want it????

 

Think about that the next time you hear the phrase "one and done". And then chuckle to yourself under your breath.

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