Since Mitch didn't apparently outline the job description well enough when he made the hire, I thought we at ASOB could help him out with one, whether he needs it for interviews with new coaches, or his sit down with Billy.

Kentucky Basketball Coach Job Description

1. You are expected to win national championships. No one is perfect though - if you fall short in the Final Four once in a while, that's OK.

2. You are to be available for the use of anyone who has donated more than $10,000 to the department. This means if they want you to speak at their Rotary Club, their son's Boy Scout troop, their dog's funeral, whatever - you will do so with a smile. You will do weddings and bar mitzvahs. Also, they will have some suggestions for offensive and defensive sets as well as substitution patterns. You are to implement them all.

3. You are expected to implement every idea proffered on your call-in show, even those that seem contradictory. 

4. While implementing these ideas, you will run a fast-paced offense and a pressing defense. Please call Rick Pitino if you have any questions. *

5. You must realize that John Clay and Jerry Tipton are your most valued assistants. Though it may seem that they sometimes are just picking you apart in public to generate ad revenue, you must realize that they have been here longer than you, and have the eyes and ears of the dwindling readership of print newspapers. *

6. Halftime interviews are to be conducted with a smile. You will have memorized some generic lines that can be applied to any game situation. Though these answers will communicate truly nothing, you must realize that the halftime reporter holds the keys to your role as ambassador of the school and state. You will not be able to recruit without them, and we lose votes in the electoral college of you don't do the interview. *

7. Should you not live up to every one of these items perfectly, you will receive no support, material or moral, from the athletics department. 

*This rule only applies when rule 1 is not fulfilled.

So what did I miss? Any other ideas out there?