Response to a Hoya

(This was written as a comment to a post on a Casual Hoya, but it became too long for a comment, hence the FanPost).

I apologize for not writing a more timely follow-up to your post, but I passed a couple of full length mirrors and became distracted. 

As an official representative of the People’s Mepublic of Big Bluistan, I would like to take this opportunity to express our extreme pleasure in your public acknowledgement of hating all things Kentucky.  It is our policy to further advance animosity between our beloved Wildcats and other fans around the nation.

 Poor inter-collegiate relations is an important component in the world realizing that the University of Kentucky possesses the most awesomely awesome basketball program in the entire galaxy.  You question the need for our Big Blue Madness to be translated into 7 languages, but what you don’t understand is that it is for the betterment of mankind.  Obviously, Wildcat basketball would be the primary reason alien intelligent life would visit our planet, and as such, probability states that the televised broadcast of Big Blue Madness would be the alien’s Rosetta Stone for understanding our languages. 

In my anti-diplomatic role, allow me to provide you with a few more reasons to hate on Kentucky.

1.      Our cheerleading squad has won the Division 1 National Championship, 13 out of the last 15 years.  Not only are the extremely good at what they do, but they are awful purty doing it. 

2.       We get to drink bourbon as part of the eating locally movement. 

3.       Wind power is going to bring great wealth to our state because of the high wind speeds due to the fact that Ohio sucks and Tennessee blows. 

4.       We don’t have to live in such close proximity to Congress. 

In closing, I would like thank you for hating Kentucky and look forward to fostering our status as enemies in the future.